Someone missed the sensitivity training.

Guy #2: "Good times!" *goes for high-five*

Guy #1: "NO! WHAT the F*CK is WRONG with you!? I GOT CHLAMYDIA! F*CK!"

Overheard: on Campus.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Guy looks at cellphone: [Screaming] "Ya dats right BITCH! Dats cuz yo man cheatin on you!"

Overheard on: 95 bus on the way to Campus stop.

Awkward...

Girl holding hands and being all "lovey" with this dude, talking to another girl:

Girl: "Ya, I'm from Guelph."

Girl holding hands with dude: "Oh my God! My boyfriend's from Guelph...op...uhhhh"

Guy holding girl's hand: " boyfriend..."(the guy proceeded to get off at the next floor).

Overheard in: 90U elevator.

Does that happen?

Girl: "Guys, do you know what my biggest fear is"

Friends: "What?"

Girl: "Spontaneously combusting at the bus stop"

Overheard in: residences.

Why wouldn't there be?

One girl to another:"There's so much sexual tension in HERE."

Overheard in: laundry room.

When bad vocabulary happens to good people...

Guy one: I am telling you he had a sick tattoo.

Guy two: Which sick tattoo?

Guy one: The sickest of the sick tattoos he has.

Guy two and three: SICK!

Overheard in: 2 Blair (bus).

Well, as long as it doesn't affect your confidence...

Girl: I was going 39km over the limit but he [the officer] bumped it down to 15 so I would't get any points.

Girl's friend: That was nice of him

Girl: And like a week before I was stopped for not driving sober

Girl's friend: wow, you're a crazy driver

Girl: Yeah, but I'm not a bad driver

Overheard in: 90U elevator.

Don't judge.That's totally legit.

Girl: Yes, these pants are loose. They're meant to come off easily.

Overheard: walking in the pavillion outside Thompson residence.

That sounds pretty accurate.

Drunk man: "A real drunk never surrenders...A real drunk gets drunk and goes to school...and a real drunk drinks at school."

Overheard on: Laurier.

What happens when kids leave for University...

Boy on cell phone: "Mom it doesn't really sound like acid reflux to me, it's because you're hungover."

Overheard in: Thompson lobby.

Heh. Clever.

Jock #1: Dude! You're going the wrong way! That's towards Desmerais!!
Jock #2: *running away* YOU'RE DESMARAIS!!

Overheard: somewhere near Desmarais?

You think he was joking...

Professor:"Come on guys, I have other things to do! Crack don't smoke itself!"

Overheard: in the midst of heavy questioning about what should and should not be in an essay (some abusurd questions included: "Can I put questions in my essay?") in an unidentified class.

I'd laugh...but karma scares me...

Girl ''So did you tell your parents yet?''

Guy: "About what?"

Girl (lowers her voice): "You know...the pregnancy thing...''

Overheard at: corner of Laurier and King Edward.

Flawless logic.

"If you're going to skip some of the class you might as well skip the whole class!"

Overheard in: study area of Desmarais.

There is no such thing as "just enough spandex"

"And he was wearing so much spandex"

Overheard in: the hallway of the 13th floor at 90U

I never dated a guy who lived in rez...this is probably why...

Guy#1: I could start wearing flip-flops but then I would still have to wear boxers.

Guy#2: No, you can wear the same boxers 3,4 days in a row.

Overheard in: the laundry room over a conversation on how to reduce their laundry.

Living the dream

Girl talking on her phone: "So he was in jail last night and I was freaking out and crying all night."

Overheard: in front of the Brooks residences.

Just in case the caf doesn't already sketch you out...

Cashier (at the caf) #1: So, he got fired from the Carleton caf, then, how did he get a job here?

Cashier #2: Pretty much everyone who works here was fired from Carleton...

Cashier #1: Why?

Cashier #2: Because Carleton is a bunch of effin' rich kids!

Overheard at: the UCU cafeteria.

Keeping your priorities straight...

Girl: I really need to study for my final, but i feel as though i should watch Americas Top Model instead.

Overheard: in front of LMX.

And you didn't run??

"Now my four inch knife, there are 20 different ways to kill someone with that."

Overheard in: the market.

Guy on his cell phone: "Yeah so all of my underwear just plain disappeared. I don't know where it went, really. I'm going to have to get some more...haha yeah I know!"

Overheard on: Overheard on the 97 Airport Bus driving past uOttawa.

"Does my dress make me look like i'm wearing a maternity dress?"

Overheard in: bathroom at Social Sciences formal.

Is the Pope German?

Filling out course/teacher evaluations:

Girl (to her friend): "Can I say compulsory if it was compulsory?"

Overheard in: HIS 1110